While I was in the
hospital, Aunt Cassie came to visit me. My grandmother had since died. She said
she had a note my mother had sent when I was in high school and she wanted me
to have it. The letter read:
Dear Cassie, You may
hate me because I jumped ship. I left my child behind because I didn’t know how
else to do it. Do you know what kind of people leave their children behind? No,
it is not the selfish ones. It is the broken down and destitute.
I couldn’t hurt my daughter
anymore. I was who I was. I was a falling-apart parent. Do you know how
difficult it is to give something you’ve never been given?
So, I gave her a life
without me. And even though it hurt her, I know it truly served her well. I
taught her that life is not black and white. We live in shades of gray. Life is
never what we think it will be or should be.
I remember that little girl
and how strong and brave she was. I am sure she has become the beautiful young
woman I imagine. I know that she will have used the wild card I dealt her and
use it to sky rocket.”
I took the letter and I
shredded it in my shaking hands. Tears spilled down and I never knew a person
could hold that much water inside.
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