So, I was talking with a good friend tonight and hashing out some of the reasons why we self-deprecate. We fill our own minds with can'ts and shouldn'ts. Why?
I believe one reason is that it's what is socially acceptable. When is the last time you heard someone say, "I'm an awesome cook. I enjoy doing it and my family loves it too. It's something I'm really good at"? And is there anything wrong with that? My gut reaction is to say no, of course there is nothing wrong with that. And yet, if I heard someone actually speak those words, I would probably be taken aback with how forthcoming and confident they were about their talents.
And here is another reason--a reason that pulses with resonation for me: unless something is overt ministry, it is not good enough. If I am writing for a paper instead of teaching Sunday School, it is...okay. If I enjoy playing softball, well, that's great, but I really should be doing something a little more holy. Now, this may very well be a personal problem, but I think a lot of people who grew up in particular denominations suffer from it.
These are lies we are told from the time we are young. When we want to be professors and our mentors say, "Have you thought about teaching the Bible?". When we want to be world travelers and our mentors say, "What about missions?". I am not saying that to teach religion is bad or that people shouldn't be encouraged to be missionaries. I am saying, however, that different people are called to be different things. I am saying that each of us is given different talents and many times those talents do not fall within the realm of overt ministry. I am saying that I am tired of feeling badly about something I was never intended to feel badly about.
I often feel that my life as a stay-at-home mom doesn't quite measure up. In the eyes of many, I'm not doing anything super-great. I am raising three and half kids (I'm fourteen weeks along with number four!) and living a pretty mediocre life. I am not standing on street corners and passing out pamphlets that say, "God loves you". And while I think that deserves a pat on the back, I think what I'm doing is pretty cool too.
At age thirty-two, I am just beginning to grasp that what I'm doing is good enough. And not just good enough, it is what I was created for. And how could I ever feel badly about that?
I just have to add: if you read this, friend, you know who you are. Thank you for shedding some light. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI find it intriguing that you feel you don't measure up because you are a stay at home mom, it seems to me that (especially in the Christian community) moms who choose to work are often frowned upon.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, Juleen. And the working moms feel guilty because they aren't staying at home! We feel we need to measure up to what "society" deems good and not what we are individually called to.
ReplyDeleteI am of the idea that every thing we do is a spiritual act. Living up to and owning our gifts is the highest form of this. We are all called to do different things and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who proudly answer that call every day.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful thought, Matt, and I fully agree with you. I heard a story from someone the other day talking about the apostle Paul's teacher...I can't remember his name. But he had a crowd around him and after talking with them said, "Now, I go to do a very holy act". "What is it? What is it?" they asked. "I go to bathe," he replied. ;-)
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