Don't wait until next year!!

We bought our kids way too much this year, and I know it.

I get really excited when I can buy something for my children that I know they will love. And they have interests that I like to feed. Nonetheless, how much can they appreciate it when there is just so much?

As a teenager, it was just me and my dad. Our tradition was to go out and spend a day together. Yes, he would get me a pair of shoes or pajamas if I needed them. But the main idea of it was stopping in the middle of the holiday bustle just to spend time with each other. We would have breakfast, lunch and dinner out, maybe catch a movie. There was a mall about forty-five minutes from our house that we would drive to that one time a year (WalMart was the big deal when it was erected in our very small town).

Just a couple of days ago, my dad and I continued our tradition. Albeit with a five-month old in tow, we took time to linger a while, grabbed a cup of coffee, talked about how we could save the world.

The old-time memories and the ones we're still making are precious to me. I treasure those times with my dad and know that we have something far more valuable than anything I could buy in a store.

So, I'm choosing to do something a little extreme. We got the kids at least twelve gifts each, add in a few that are for all of them. Before bed, after the busyness of our day, I am going to weed some out...or maybe a lot. Why? Because I want them to appreciate what they get. You can tell me all of the "Christmas is magical and it's no big deal and blah, blah, blah," but it still feels like too much. I can think of about five gifts just off the top of my head that are going in to the attic and will be pulled out for a future birthday or a gift for someone else.

I received a Christmas card a couple of days ago and instead of thinking what a nice gesture it was for them to think of us, I thought, "Oh crap! I didn't send them a card; I need to get that in the mail!" Again, the Spirit of Christmas is trying to escape my grasp.

As I was feeling completely overwhelmed yesterday, I thought to myself, "Well, there's always next year to cut back and try to get it right." But why not this year? Why not start a new tradition of a humble Christmas with a few gifts and loads of love?

The kids were just tearing through the house and talking about all of the presents they were going to get from Nana and Grandma and Santa and on and on! I instituted a quiet time. Cindy-lou Who and Super boy are coloring in separate rooms with no talking, Dynamite and Ralphie are asleep along with Dh. The tree is twinkling, the music and tv are off. I've got a hot cup of coffee and am left to reflect on what it's really all about.

Having big boobs isn't all roses...

Not that I would know, but that's what my grandma always told me. She would say that they made her back hurt.

I've shared with many of you about my "food allergy" struggles. I had it narrowed down to yeast at one point. To make a very long story short, I found an allergist who immediately did skin prick testing and found that I had very severe environmental allergies--some of the most severe she's ever seen is what I was told. And the reason I was having such strong reactions to certain foods is because of this thing called Oral Allergy Syndrome. Apparently, if you're severely allergic to pollen, eating things like apples, cherries and almonds can make your lips swell and itch. If you're allergic to grass (which, of course, I am), tomatoes and oranges can do the same.

Because I hadn't zeroed in on exactly what was happening, I kept trying elimination diets. I went on a paleo diet, basically eating vegetables, fruit, nuts and grilled meats. I cut out all salad dressings and would eat plain olive oil on lettuce and/or spinach. It was pretty intense.

I am sharing this in case anyone else out there is struggling with anything like this. I am taking a morning and evening allergy pill along with taking allergy shots twice weekle. It is absolutely no exaggeration to say that my life is mine again. I don't have to call my friends constantly and ask them to pick up the kids from school because I am too groggy from Benadryl. I am able to make plans for the next day and know that I will feel well enough to keep them. I don't have to cake on makeup even though it is incredibly painful to hide the burn-like marks on my face and neck (severe swelling and hives).

I weighed 148 pounds just before I gave birth to my nine pound, four ounce bouncing baby boy. Three short months later, I dropped down to 103 pounds. And this is where my reference to my wise grandmother comes in. People would comment on how I had lost all of that baby weight so quickly and how lucky I was. And all I was thinking is how much I wanted to down a container of Ben and Jerry's! Being skinny isn't always a picnic either!

Now that my God-sent allergist has me on the road to recovery, I am having a love affair with food. I am eating everything and anything I want and have gained eight pounds. I may eventually have to reign myself in, but right now I'm enjoying myself! And for the record, I have always found people with a little more cushion quite snuggly.
If you are in the area and need an allergist, I highly recommend Dr. Annie Arrey-Mensah. You can find more out about her here. Check this out as well if you are an allergy-sufferer.

On Suffering...

A friend of mine's baby boy passed away just weeks ago. He was born healthy and for whatever reason, he is not here with us today.

And I have to ask, "Why?" Why are some called to endure such deep suffering...life-altering suffering? I don't pretend to know why, and my heart aches for an answer.

I have never been a fan of the expression, "Everything happens for a reason." I just don't believe that's true. Or "It was meant to be." Maybe those are the lies we tell ourselves and others to offer some semblance of comfort.

We often try to put ourselves in their shoes. We try to fix it. Put a band-aid on it. Make it go away. But that is not in our power. It is simply ours to walk along side those who are suffering and perhaps carry a corner of their cross.

The best advice I was ever given during a time of suffering was, "Cry your heart out. Allow yourself to grieve and to be sad. Take your time." It was validating to have someone acknowledge that what I was going through really sucked instead of having them try to sweep it under the rug.

There is a suffering that many of us will never know. A deep, hollowing suffering. My friends who are going through that right now, please know I want to help you carry your cross. I don't believe it was God's plan. I don't think that it was meant to be. Many hearts are broken for you tonight.

What's on my mind at 10 p.m.?

My new measuring cup. Because, well, it's kinda cool.

1) I got this fancy new measuring cup that I'm really excited about from Bed Bath and Beyond. (I should've dried it off before I took the picture, but I was in a hurry, as usual). Anyway, you pull down on the bottom and can adjust it so you only need to dirty one item instead of two or three individual measuring cups. Pretty cool! You can check it out here if you're interested!


2) This is the stack of papers that came home from my two kids today.

Can you say, "Dude." Seriously! This is what I have to look forward digging through tomorrow. I know we've talked about the paper piles before and I think I'm doing better with keeping it organized. But Holy Cow!

3) Tomorrow is my dear husband's birthday and we are going out to dinner with dear friends. I am totally geeked about this because we NEED a night out. Life has felt like one unending emergency lately and I am so looking forward to relaxing a little (with sweet Ralphie in tow, of course, because he does not like the bottle!). Happy birthday, baby!

4) Ralphie has a slight ear infection at only three months old. Boo to all those nasty germs that come home with the kiddos from school. I took the baby to the doctor today and she suggested having the older ones change their clothes immediately when they come in the door from school as to minimize the passing of heebie-jeebies. When I explained it to the older ones, they happily ran to their rooms to change...anything for their sweet baby brother. Dare I say, for any other reason they would've been moaning and groaning.

5) Just a couple pics of my kiddos enjoying a day out. At the end of the day, even though I am totally spent, these guys make it all worth it.

Beauty For Ashes

Life has been pretty rough lately. I have been trying to hone in on some food allergies and it's not been easy! For years, I've struggled with chronic fatigue and eczema. Generally, the cycle goes something like this:

1) An adverse reaction to food or an environmental factor

2) Try to drink a buttload of water and eat everything green under the sun

3) End up at the doctor looking like I had an acid bath and getting put on steroids

Ugh.

I've been eating yeast-free, because I know that I am allergic to yeast. Now, I need to figure out what else I'm allergic to.

Anyway, you don't want to hear my health woes. I sound like an 80-year old woman for crying out loud.

Let me tell you about what I'm grateful for despite my circumstances.

Today my husband came home and made me the most god-awful juice you can imagine. He threw some celery, cilantro, cucumber, kale, apples, parsley and carrots in to the juicer (he found this recipe online for combating skin issues). I then drank half of it, but had to stop there b/c I was ready to toss my cookies. But can I just say, how awesome is my husband that he tries to make me feel better? He took a half day off work so I could go to the doctor. I am one lucky duck.

My 3-month old grins so big, his little cheeks swallow up his whole chubby face. How cute is that??

When I told my 8-year old that I was sad because I couldn't find the coffee filters and I really wanted a cup of coffee, he said, "Now I feel sad because you just said you feel sad". Sweet empathy from one so young... (okay, I know that I was whining, but it was still super cute).

It is so easy to find the things that are wrong in our lives. We sure don't have to look hard. There are illnesses, inattentive spouses, pressures at work, never feeling like we have enough time. There are heavy issues that many of us can't even comprehend: crumbling marriages, dying loved ones intense financial stress, the list could go on and on.

But if we allow our lives to become only those things, we will die. Stop giving thanks and we have lost the fight. We are no longer living. We get only one today.

Check out this website for some inspiration:

http://onethousandgifts.com/a-letter-from-ann

A Memoir From Myanmar

This is your brain. This is your brain on...I don't know--hyperactivity? A little bit of crazy?
I am a runner. I wake up running. I run to make breakfast and get the kids ready and do laundry and try to get myself dressed. And that is in the first half hour of my day. I am not busier than others; I just do myself in trying to get as much done as is humanly possible. And then I have to talk to myself (yes, I know it's a problem), "Slow down...be still...remember that God shows Himself in a gentle whisper and not in the storm". Do you know how hard that is? So, as I'm leaping off the third stair from the bottom to make better time to the dryer, those are the words running through my head. But I keep running....
And so tonight, I sit down to read the words I wrote August 5, 2000 on my month long trip to Myanmar (Burma):

I slipped my shoes off and climbed up two small wooden stairs in to a one room bamboo hut. I was afraid I might fall through the floor as I could see through it and it felt like it might give way. There was one chair in the room where they had me sit like a queen--when all I really wanted to do is bury my head in shame. I wanted to cry because my clothes were clean and pressed and my hair had been washed with Pantene. There on the floor lay a man who had been paralyzed from possibly menonjitis or polio. He said he saw God in me and he was so thankful for my coming...I felt so full of shame. He wore a dirty shirt that may have once been white, a tattered blue jacket and a matching pair of pants. He was smaller than I was and he looked so frail. But we prayed and I pleaded with the Lord to heal his sickness. Through faith we can move mountains.
"Oh, I believe, Father, help me overcome my unbelief." Never have I felt this more strongly. Really, is it true what you say? Is it true that if I ask, I will receive? I want to believe so badly.
The man was curled up like a beaten child, but he held out his hands for some breath of hope. And I put my hands in his--probably more scared than he--a simple twenty-two year old girl who lives in a nice house with a nice truck and a closet full of clothes...and there he was in his little one room thatch hut curled up on the floor next to a couple of pots and pans.
I slipped off my shoes just expecting to walkl in to a room with a sick man...
I walked in to a freight train of emotions hurling me over. And I never knew that Jesus lived in the heart of a little man in a little hut full of hope and desperation.
The only thing I've learned on this trip to Myanmar is that I'm very young and I don't know anything. I don't know one iota what is to experience what many are experiencing. I don't know what it feels like not to be able to lift myself out of bed. I don't know what it feels like to be tested by God just to go to church, to have faith that He will provide rice to eat even if I don't work so that I can worship. I am so very blessed. And so very ignorant.


And I am still so very blessed---and so very ignorant. I forget to slow down. To listen. I allow my life to be turned in to a check list. But tonight, I remember. I remember not to take it all for granted. To go in and kiss my little girl on the forehead long after she is asleep. I remember to say thank you.

Back To School Stress

So, I've been getting stressed out about all of the paperwork coming home from the kids' school. I seriously had a stack about two inches thick! So here's what I decided to do:

I took a three ring binder and put in dividers labeled "school calendar", "To Return", "Super-boy", "Cindy-Lou Who", "Sports schedule" and "Miscellaneous". I may add more dividers as more papers come home. I am really hoping this will eliminate the stack on my bookshelf, kitchen table, and microwave cart. Does anyone else have a different/better suggestion?

This has caused me to wonder how moms do it. How do they stay organized? What about all of the stuff left over from last year? How about all of the crafts? I want my kids to have things to look at when they get older, but I don't want to be featured on "Hoarder's". So can you help me out with some school organization tips? Any and all are welcome!