I like to read about different religions and belief systems. Not because I'm ready to jump ship on what I believe, but because I think that valuable teachings can be learned from most philosophies.
I am a little obsessed with things that are calming. Why? Probably because I love quiet, candles and Norah Jones and I live in a house with a (super-cute) husband and four noisy (but also super-cute) kids. I crave the sound of soft piano music flowing out of Pandora. When I do get the chance to be all alone, I light all of my votives, get out my knitting and perhaps listen to a book on cd. It just doesn't get much better than that. (I am acutely aware of how those words depict me as a 75-year old woman).
However, this is most often not my reality. My reality is more like being woken up with a blow horn in your ear. "Wake up! On your toes! No dilly-dallying, sister!!" My reality is always feeling like I have to be "on." If I dare sit down, it is a signal to all of the children to climb on me like a brand new jungle gym. Or to request a snack...or a butt-wiper (of which I am said to hold the title--not bragging, just sayin'.)
It's hard when the way you want things and the way things are don't always coincide. Please note, I am not saying that I don't dearly love my children or wishing away the beautiful chaos that ensues daily. I am simply saying that it can be difficult for a person who so enjoys quiet to very rarely get any.
Soooo, as of late, I've checked out some books from the library on meditation and the Buddhist practice of embracing silence. Silence is not always referencing the absence of sound. It is the quieting of the mind even when there is chatter and sound all around you. It is learning to be fully present to each moment of your day and saying, "Just this."
The "Just This" principle is one I read about in a book. As you are buttoning your child's coat, think, "Just this." The feel of the cold zipper in your fingers. You engaging your child.
As you are walking in your backyard, think, "Just this." The crunching of the grass beneath your shoes. The feel of your feet against the earth. The sound of the wind rustling the trees.
As your child is rambling on and on about what, you don't know. Stop, look at him and think, "Just this." These words. This interaction. Is this the first time you really saw him today?
If you want to read more about embracing silence, here is a great article by a Catholic Priest, Gus Gordon. In it, he speaks of the value of the Buddhist elevation of silence and how it can impact our lives. And ultimately, how it is there that we can experience God and love.
"My own personal task is not simply that of poet and writer (still less
commentator, pseudo-prophet); it is basically to praise God out of an
inner center of silence, gratitude, and ‘awareness.’ This can be
realized in a life that apparently accomplishes nothing. Without
centering on accomplishment or nonaccomplishment, my task is simply the
breathing of this gratitude from day to day, in simplicity, and for the
rest turning my hand to whatever comes, work being part of praise,
whether splitting logs or writing poems, or best of all simple notes." -Thomas Merton
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