When the experts lead us astray...

 When I found out I was expecting our first child, I read every book I could get my hands on.  I was clueless about babies having been raised as an only child (my brother did not enter in to our lives until I was twenty-six).  And for the record, I wasn't a spoiled brat having been an only (I was, however, spoiled with my parents' time)...but that is for another blog post.
I continued reading as my first-born got older and new babies came along.  It seemed the battle-cry of the experts at the time was "Compromise!"  Don't say no too often or you will break your child's spirit.  Let them feel like they are in control.  In short, the parent-card is taken out of your hands.   
Now, I know that is not the intended effect of these methods.  However, that is often what has happened in our home as a result.
Case in point:
One day, while homeschooling Super-boy in first grade, I said, "It's time to do our work for the day."  To which dear eldest replied, "I don't want to do my homework!"  I then replied (with all of my parenting expertise in the forefront of my mind, "Okay, let's compromise.  Want to go on a nature hike?"  "Yes!" he replied, ecstatic.  We got to the trail and both of my older children whined about how cold it was and that they just wanted to go home.  Ugh.  All of this work to get everyone out the door in the vein of compromise.
After we returned home and it was time to hit the books, Super-boy slumped over his chair and cried, "But I don't WANT to do my homework."  We were in the same spot we had been in two hours before, only more tired.
Kids crave boundaries.  I don't care what anyone tells you.  Now, had that same scenario erupted in our house as of late, I would respond, "This is the time for homework.  When we are done, you are free to use your time as you wish."  And despite kids responses, I believe it makes them feel secure; they know exactly what is expected of them, no ifs ands or buts. 
Not to mention, the more children you have, the more impossible it is to play the "compromise game" with each child.  There is a schedule and that schedule is mommy's saving grace.  Otherwise it would be mayhem!
I will say, however, that if I am able to compromise, I will. For example, "You don't want to take out the trash right now?  Okay, that's fine.  But today is Saturday and also the day you get to play video games.  Until the trash is taken out, there will be no video games."  
Or, for those of you who know my Dynamite, he loves to wear a suit DAILY.  Even on 80 degree days.  I explain to him that he will be a hot, sweaty mess if he wears the suit, but that it is his choice.  And most days, he still chooses to wear it.  Which is totally fine with me! (smile)
What are your thoughts on this?  How have you seen the tide turn in what the "experts" are telling us as parents?  Do you feel that we are encouraged to be too lax or too strict?  How has the advice of the "experts" translated in to your own homes?
As always, thanks for reading and for sharing!