I've been pondering the ways I hide from living...truly living. Living in abundance, chasing joy. I get overwhelmed with the day-to-day--the bickering, the lunch-making, the laundry...all of these things grow tiresome and mundane. Ordinary. And I hide...
I hide behind the computer.
I hide behind sleep.
I hide on the telephone.
I hide behind food.
I hide in the quiet of my own head.
I hide behind anger.
I hide behind distrust in good.
When I try to escape from what I'm truly called to, it's never a pretty picture. But it's hard to be fully present. It's hard to accept that my kids are arguing again and I am called to calmly get down on my knees and teach them love and patience.
These vices do not help me to grow. They don't help those around me to grow. And in fact, they relinquish the God-given control I have as a mother and wife.
So right now, that's what I'm working on...being fully present. Engaging. Listening. Trusting that love and gratitude is so much more powerful than the things I hide behind.
What do you hide behind? Any suggestions on being more present, living life abundantly? Being a joy-chaser?
Thanks for reading, friends.
Things I'm thankful for:
A cool summer night~Writing letters~Pretty stamps~Cool breeze~Opening windows~Feeling good enough to walk to the park~A purple flower in a field of weeds~Husband smiling in the morning~Neighbor walking dog~Sunshine through my window...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
When I stop giving thanks, the snake slithers in and flicks his tongue at me. He whispers lies and I believe them. I hear negativity and sadness. But when I choose to see beauty, to be thankful, I am filled with joy. How can that be? Something so simple, but such a difference.
My gratitude continues to grow...
A listening ear~beautiful hibiscus with deep red center~little girl imagination~determination~music~friends who "get it"~husband who helps me around the house~getting to sleep in...
My gratitude continues to grow...
A listening ear~beautiful hibiscus with deep red center~little girl imagination~determination~music~friends who "get it"~husband who helps me around the house~getting to sleep in...
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Nine More...
65. Ralphie's head of thick, black hair
66. Shucking corn
67. Forgiveness asked for and received
68. Laughter thanks to Samm and Krystal's blog
69. My Father in Law patting my dad on the back and the two of them laughing like old friends
70. Baby coos
71. Brothers hugging
72. Church with my family
73. Grilling on a Sunday
74. My boys asleep snuggled close
66. Shucking corn
67. Forgiveness asked for and received
68. Laughter thanks to Samm and Krystal's blog
69. My Father in Law patting my dad on the back and the two of them laughing like old friends
70. Baby coos
71. Brothers hugging
72. Church with my family
73. Grilling on a Sunday
74. My boys asleep snuggled close
Saturday, August 6, 2011
A Day for Dynamite
Today we had a get-together for Dynamite's third birthday. And it rained--hard. I felt like Richard Dreyfus in "What About Bob" as he's staring out the window at the torrential downpour saying, "I think it's going to let up".
We had a wonderful day, regardless. The kids were filled with delight that they were allowed to play in the rain. They were absolutely joyful which made my heart swell.
And so the list continues...
49. Pancakes
50. Breathing slowly
51. A quiet house
52. A mom who cares
53. Helping hands
54. Messages on my answering machine that make me smile
55. Time to shower
56. Dad and his lovely wife who surprise me
57. Children squealing with delight
58. Little feet jumping in puddles
59. Reminiscing
60. Back rub from birthday boy
61. Sister carrying her brother
62. Summer rain
63. Four brothers riding bikes down the street
64. Kids playing happily in the rain
Tonight, my heart is full.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Just a quickie
39. Little boy voice singing Snoopy and the Red Baron.
40. Kids laughing.
41. The cloud lifting.
42. Neighbors coming to visit.
43. An afternoon nap.
44. The way my daughter walks with her head held high, full of confidence.
45. Sitting outside reading a book while the kids draw with sidewalk chalk.
46. Neighbors who buy popsicles for my kids just because they're good people.
47. Kids doing cheers with popsicles.
48. Time for bed.
40. Kids laughing.
41. The cloud lifting.
42. Neighbors coming to visit.
43. An afternoon nap.
44. The way my daughter walks with her head held high, full of confidence.
45. Sitting outside reading a book while the kids draw with sidewalk chalk.
46. Neighbors who buy popsicles for my kids just because they're good people.
47. Kids doing cheers with popsicles.
48. Time for bed.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Does the check-out girl really have to take time to scratch herself?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
I went to the store today to do "big grocery shopping" for the first time since Ralphie was born. I could barely fit everything in to the cart! I said to dh, "Remember when we lived in the apartment and we'd buy a half gallon of milk and it would go bad?". Yeah, those days are long gone.
I knew I had about two and a half hours to get to the store, do my shopping and get home before Ralphie needed to be fed again. (Thankfully, my mother-in-law had the other three!). I was speeding through the store like those people you see who are told they just won a shopping spree for whatever they can fit in their cart in five minutes (I know that's an excessively long sentence).
As I got to the checkout, Ralphie opened his eyes and I thought, "Dear God, we've got to move fast". The lady at the checkout was moving slowly and as I watched her slowly scan, then stop to scratch her nose, I caught myself thinking, "Don't scratch, just keep bagging, sister!!".
And then my gratitude list came to mind...
Ahhhh, it is so easy to express gratitude when things are going my way. I very mechanically forced myself to think about her and what her day must be like. I forced myself to thank God that she was probably moving as fast...as...she...probably...could. Yes, mechanical and forced, it is true. But my hope is that the more I do it, the more it will shape me in to more of the person I desire to be. I'm a mutterer, a griper, a wish-I-wasn't-doing-this-right-now-er.
Thanks for going with me on this journey to delighting in all of the wonderful things that are there for the taking--we just need to open our eyes to them!
25. Stationary from Target.
26. Food in the fridge.
27. Lady at the deli who is on her feet all day long.
28. The voice inside that says, "You better go see what they're doing".
29. Sleeping baby at grocery store.
30. Help with the kids.
31. Sweet baby boy asleep in his swing.
32. The ability to take care of my family.
33. Clean folded laundry in drawers.
34. Empty sink.
35. Honesty in others--truth about shortcomings. I, too, am so very human.
36. The beginnings of potty training.
37. Answered prayer.
38. Building train sets.
I went to the store today to do "big grocery shopping" for the first time since Ralphie was born. I could barely fit everything in to the cart! I said to dh, "Remember when we lived in the apartment and we'd buy a half gallon of milk and it would go bad?". Yeah, those days are long gone.
I knew I had about two and a half hours to get to the store, do my shopping and get home before Ralphie needed to be fed again. (Thankfully, my mother-in-law had the other three!). I was speeding through the store like those people you see who are told they just won a shopping spree for whatever they can fit in their cart in five minutes (I know that's an excessively long sentence).
As I got to the checkout, Ralphie opened his eyes and I thought, "Dear God, we've got to move fast". The lady at the checkout was moving slowly and as I watched her slowly scan, then stop to scratch her nose, I caught myself thinking, "Don't scratch, just keep bagging, sister!!".
And then my gratitude list came to mind...
Ahhhh, it is so easy to express gratitude when things are going my way. I very mechanically forced myself to think about her and what her day must be like. I forced myself to thank God that she was probably moving as fast...as...she...probably...could. Yes, mechanical and forced, it is true. But my hope is that the more I do it, the more it will shape me in to more of the person I desire to be. I'm a mutterer, a griper, a wish-I-wasn't-doing-this-right-now-er.
Thanks for going with me on this journey to delighting in all of the wonderful things that are there for the taking--we just need to open our eyes to them!
25. Stationary from Target.
26. Food in the fridge.
27. Lady at the deli who is on her feet all day long.
28. The voice inside that says, "You better go see what they're doing".
29. Sleeping baby at grocery store.
30. Help with the kids.
31. Sweet baby boy asleep in his swing.
32. The ability to take care of my family.
33. Clean folded laundry in drawers.
34. Empty sink.
35. Honesty in others--truth about shortcomings. I, too, am so very human.
36. The beginnings of potty training.
37. Answered prayer.
38. Building train sets.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
A few of my favorite things...
A few of the things I'm thankful for today...
9. Airplane tacked to my corkboard that he was so proud of.
10. Golden sunshine streaming in from the window and on to my wall.
11. Coffee with husband before the kids wake up.
12. Cindy-lou Who's picture of her and a friend dancing.
13. Little boy voice at the bottom of the stairs.
14. Toys, toys everywhere.
15. Clean water running cold from my faucet.
16. So kissable baby cheeks against my lips.
17. Gravel under my bare feet.
18. 3-year old cherry-stained mouth.
19. Playtime in bubble bath.
20. Cool rain on shoulders.
21. The binding up of wounds.
21. The binding up of wounds.
22. Sleep smiles.
23. Blue fuzzy slippers soft on my feet.
24. Collecting acorns in a pretty blue bucket.
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