The Muffins Can Wait

"Mom, how do you spell 'Grandpa -------'?". Or "Mom, how do you spell 'You are my best friend and I love you'?". (I know I'm messing up my punctuation here, fellow English nerds--I will get out my MLA and straighten myself out, I promise). And so, I begin slowly, "M-o-m...".

I really want to bake muffins today. I want to do something that requires my complete attention and have zero interruptions. But my husband so gently broke it to me today, "I don't know if you're going to get that...this...year". Nice. And I may not. So, how do I cope? How do I manage to feel fulfilled when right now, as I'm typing, Dynamite is spilling Cheerios all over the floor that I just swept. Cindy-lou Who continues to call out her spelling demands from her corner of the living-room , and Super-boy stands here chattering in my ear about Pokemon.

...And now Super-boy is doing somersaults off the couch...
...And now Dynamite is emptying my pan cupboard...

Perhaps surrender is the answer. Lay it down. Right now, I need to be content with what is before me and recognize that being in the will of God is fulfilling my responsibilities at this very moment in time. At this very moment, it is my duty to gently get my children headed toward bed. To read a story, brush their teeth and say prayers...without gritting my teeth and doing so in the most hurried manner possible. It is my blessing to be able to kiss them on their foreheads and tell them that they are loved and that they are good.

And to tell myself that the muffins can wait. To be fully present. Wow, it is so hard to do that. But for tonight, I will do my best.

A Time to Dance

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under
heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up
what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep; and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek and a time to lose;

a time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Today, my Aunt Eileen and I buried my grandma. She has been gone for over a year now and my aunt has had her ashes in an urn at her house. We finally felt it was time to lay her down to rest. It was a beautiful fall day, full of autumn breezes, one that my grandma would have basked in.

My aunt and I shared a lot of great memories and knew that grandma was laughing right along with us. One of the greatest things about her was that when she laughed, her shoulders shook up and down. Even if there was not a sound coming out of her mouth, her body was jiggling.

Right after my biological father died, my grandma and aunt went to a group meeting that they were told would help them cope with their loss. The group began by going around and making introductions. The first person they came to said, "My name is _____ and I have terrible anxiety. I can't even go to the grocery store without having a panic attack". The second person, "My name is _____ and I break out in to cold sweats when I leave the house". As the introductions continued, my grandma and aunt realized they were in a group for people who suffer from agoraphobia. My aunt remembers that out of the corner of her eye, she saw my grandma's shoulders start to shake up and down uncontrollably.

Even in the midst of unbearable pain, there is reason for laughter. We have certainly grieved, but today we celebrated and did so with a smile.

Easy Chicken Parmesan

Just a recipe for you to try out. Super easy and very enjoyable. I generally use my homemade spaghetti sauce with this, but I've also grabbed a jar of Bertoli and that works nicely also. Enjoy!http://recipes.epicurean.com/recipe/854/easy-chicken-parmesan.html

European-style Cooking

For years I've tried to get more organized when it comes to my grocery list. I have tried to make one or two week meal plans in an effort to frequent the grocery stores less-frequently. ;-) I have tried switching up my shopping days. It sounds trite and maybe a little OCD, but when you have three kids, it's not that easy to pick-up and pop-in to the store.

Since Cindly-Lou Who (5) and Wonderboy (7) have started school, I have found that the Italian approach to grocery shopping and meal planning works best in our house. That is: "It's 11 a.m., hmmm...what should we have for dinner tonight?". And then, we proceed to the store to purchase said items. Of course, I look to see what I have at home first and then go from there. But when I was making the one/two week meal plans, a lot of times I just wouldn't feel like making that basil chicken when Thursday rolled around. And now that Dynamite (2) is the only one at home in the morning, it is easy for us to pick-up and pop-in. Not only is less food going to waste, but I am really enjoying meal time more! If I've had a rough day, I pull something out of the freezer.

When I stayed in Italy for a few months, we would literally go to the market each day by foot or bike and pick up the ingredients for that night's meal. (On a bike-worthy day, I will take Dynamite in the bike trailer).

Doing this slows things down, makes it less about the finished product and more about enjoying pulling it all together. The meal is made from fresh ingredients and it gives you an opportunity to tap in to those creative juices that might be flowing.

I share this in hopes that it may help some struggling moms. I know this is not a good fit for everyone (it wasn't for me last year!), but it may be for some. Happy cooking!

Last night, I went to bed thinking, "Tomorrow will be a better day." Today, I woke up thinking, "Ugh, I still feel awful."

Most of you know that I've been taking prednisone for my eczema. Between that and the onset of shorter days (less sunlight), I've been feeling a little gloomy. Okay, that's a euphamism. I've been feeling like burying my head in a pillow and bawling my eyes out. There is no logical reason for this, and as much as I tell myself that, I still feel blue.

So today, I am going to do an experiment. I feel like staying in my pajamas and letting Dynamite watch Sesame Street, but instead, I am going to "rally," as my Sourpatch friend says. I am going to get dressed and head out, enjoy the sunshine. Mind over matter. I'm going to find a great recipe for dinner and do a load of laundry (with some cherry blossom fabric softener).

I will let you all know how it goes.
"Energy and persistence conquer all things." Benjamin Franklin

Will You Be My Friend? Check Yes or No

I feel compelled to write about friendship today. I have to preface this by sharing with you that I have some of the greatest friends that a person could have. My friends make me feel whole, grounded, secure, loved. I sometimes feel like a sixteen year old with the amount of precedence I give my friendships. But friends are important.

As a kid, we moved around a lot. I had to say goodbye on more than one occasion. In a certain respect, I think that gave me a deeper appreciation for relationships in my life; yes, people come and go, but some don't. Some are life-long companions.

Last week, I wrote in my blog about how I ate a box of Sourpatch Kids and there were no stinkin' red ones. The next morning, I am dropping off Cindy-Lou Who at kindergarten and my dear friend hands me a king size box of Sourpatch kids and says, "I hope there are some red ones in here." (Much to my delight, there were eight, not that I was counting).

A couple of months ago, all of the kids were sick. Another dear friend shows up on my doorstep with pedialyte and "sick snacks" in hand. What a thoughtful gesture! And one that meant so much to me.

I could go on and on, but I will let it suffice to say that friendships are important. They are revitalizing (at least, they should be). And they teach us that it is just as much about the other person as it is about ourselves (how often do we get stuck in the quagmire of our everyday lives?).

I will end with a quote just shared with me today by Sourpatch friend mentioned above:

"In friendship, we find nothing false or insincere; everything is straightforward and springs from the heart." - Cicero

Cashew Chicken Curry

Right now, my house is pulsing with the delicious smells of cumin and curry. I wanted to share this recipe with all of you because it is one of our favorites. You can't go wrong with this! Serve it over basmati and with parathas (which you can buy at your local Indian grocer). It is a little involved to make if you're not used to spending too much time on a recipe. I will tell you, however, that it is well worth it and I generally double the recipe so that I can freeze some (it keeps perfectly).
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Chicken-Curry-with-Cashews-231358